As we begin 2009, I'm feeling surprisingly optimistic. I normally feel optimistic when a new year dawns, but the end of 2008 seems to have been cloaked in so much negativity that I wasn't sure if I would be able to rise above it.
The messages we read do affect our emotions, moods and general dispositions. I don't know about you, but when I read something negative it seems to breed more negativity inside of me. This isn't to say we should stop watching the news or reading the paper, but we need to re-program our thoughts and change the way we speak to ourselves. Our own internal voices are the most important of all.
I am in no way an expert in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and would never claim to be. As I've been thinking about the new year and changes I would like to make in it, I remembered one concept in NLP from a short overview I read months ago. It talked about positive and negative language.
The argument is that when we speak in the negative, for example, "I don't want to be late anymore," our minds create a picture of us being late and then we attempt to negate that picture. Unfortunately, the picture is already ingrained in our minds and we continue being late because that's the main message we've been sending ourselves.
What if we instead said, "I am going to be on time." What's the first picture that comes to your mind? Relaxing in the waiting room before your appointment with 10 minutes to spare? Arriving at the office before anyone else and having a nice quiet cup of coffee before the day begins? Do you see the difference in this imagery?
It was just this morning that I recognized how I've been changing the way I speak to my daughter - she's only 6 months old, but you can never start too early, right? Instead of saying, "Don't drop your toy!" I use the positive, "Hold onto your toy!" At this point, who knows what sense either sentence makes to her, but it's great practice for me!
Now that I've started using positive messages, it's getting easier for me to translate negatives to positives and use more positive language in my daily life.
When you write your list of resolutions this year (something I highly recommend, by the way) make sure that you're using positive language that reinforces what you do want in life instead of what you don't want. Write "Breathe fresh air freely and easily," instead of "Stop smoking," for example. Then hang your list somewhere you can see it each day. When you read it, think about the images that enter you mind, and notice the emotions you feel.
Positive language can make a difference for you in this new year. So get started thinking positively and see what happens! There's nothing to lose but negativity!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Speech Training: How Important is Learning Phonetics?
People can be surprised that in a course on pronunciation and speech training I rarely, if ever, refer to the phonetic alphabet. This is because I believe the phonetic alphabet has little relevance in improving pronunciation today.
The main reason for learning the phonetic alphabet is so that you can look up words in the dictionary and know their pronunciation by reading the phonetic script. But today, pronouncing dictionaries come with CDs with every pronunciation recorded and dictionaries online also have pronunciations you can listen to, usually with both American and British pronunciations.
If you are having trouble listening to the pronunciation of a word and are really concerned about it, you can always go back to the phonetic alphabet key at the beginning of the dictionary and figure it out. There's no reason to hog space in your head with the phonetic alphabet chart!
It is much more important (and much more fun) to learn pronunciation through fine tuning your listening and production skills. Although it isn't important for you to learn the phonetic alphabet, your trainer should know it like the back of his/her hand so she can make those sounds come to life and let you hear and understand the different nuances of sound. Make sure he/she has a background in either speech and language training or linguistics.
If you live in Singapore and are serious about changing your pronunciation and speaking more clearly, be sure to check out my newest program, the Speak Clearly 8-week Intensive. You can get more information and register here.
The main reason for learning the phonetic alphabet is so that you can look up words in the dictionary and know their pronunciation by reading the phonetic script. But today, pronouncing dictionaries come with CDs with every pronunciation recorded and dictionaries online also have pronunciations you can listen to, usually with both American and British pronunciations.
If you are having trouble listening to the pronunciation of a word and are really concerned about it, you can always go back to the phonetic alphabet key at the beginning of the dictionary and figure it out. There's no reason to hog space in your head with the phonetic alphabet chart!
It is much more important (and much more fun) to learn pronunciation through fine tuning your listening and production skills. Although it isn't important for you to learn the phonetic alphabet, your trainer should know it like the back of his/her hand so she can make those sounds come to life and let you hear and understand the different nuances of sound. Make sure he/she has a background in either speech and language training or linguistics.
If you live in Singapore and are serious about changing your pronunciation and speaking more clearly, be sure to check out my newest program, the Speak Clearly 8-week Intensive. You can get more information and register here.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Communication Etiquette: Invite Yourself to Meetings
Everyone knows that business networking is one of the most important ways to build one's business, stand out from the crowd and maintain beneficial professional relationships.
When you are looking to branch out and meet new people, you might consider joining new groups or, at least, attending a meeting or two. But what if the meetings are for members only or are "by invitation."
Don't let this deter you! Groups are almost always looking for new members. If you don't know someone in the group who can "invite" you, invite yourself! Now that doesn't mean showing up on the day unannounced. Rather, it means that you should do your homework, find the contact information for the President or Membership Chair of the group and send them an email.
No group wants a networking leech - one of those people who suck everything they can from a group (mostly names, phone numbers and email addresses) in order to advance their own businesses. If you have something to offer and aren't just trying to blatantly serve your own interests, most groups will welcome you with open arms.
If you really want to be invited to a meeting, include these things in your email to the group's leadership:
1. Your name and profession
2. How you heard about the group
3. Your intentions when visiting the group
4. A polite request to attend the group's next function
5. An example of how the group could benefit from meeting you
Here's an example of how this email could be put together:
Dear John
(1) My name is Heather Hansen and I am a dog trainer and animal lover. (2) I came across the "Dog's are Great" website today and can see that you're President of the local chapter. (3) I am really interested in meeting other like-minded dog lovers, and the events your group organizes look really exciting. (4) I would love to attend one of your meetings. Could I possibly join you next week at your November get-together? (5) I would love to meet all of you and would also be happy to share my dog training experience with your members if they have any questions.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best
Heather
Now who could say 'no' to such a considerate request? Not only have you been up-front about who you are and why you are interested in attending their group, you have also offered to help serve them - and you're not even a member yet!
Don't be afraid to invite yourself to meetings in this way. The worst thing that could happen is that they say 'no.' And maybe that's not the type of group you'd like to socialize with anyway!
When you are looking to branch out and meet new people, you might consider joining new groups or, at least, attending a meeting or two. But what if the meetings are for members only or are "by invitation."
Don't let this deter you! Groups are almost always looking for new members. If you don't know someone in the group who can "invite" you, invite yourself! Now that doesn't mean showing up on the day unannounced. Rather, it means that you should do your homework, find the contact information for the President or Membership Chair of the group and send them an email.
No group wants a networking leech - one of those people who suck everything they can from a group (mostly names, phone numbers and email addresses) in order to advance their own businesses. If you have something to offer and aren't just trying to blatantly serve your own interests, most groups will welcome you with open arms.
If you really want to be invited to a meeting, include these things in your email to the group's leadership:
1. Your name and profession
2. How you heard about the group
3. Your intentions when visiting the group
4. A polite request to attend the group's next function
5. An example of how the group could benefit from meeting you
Here's an example of how this email could be put together:
Dear John
(1) My name is Heather Hansen and I am a dog trainer and animal lover. (2) I came across the "Dog's are Great" website today and can see that you're President of the local chapter. (3) I am really interested in meeting other like-minded dog lovers, and the events your group organizes look really exciting. (4) I would love to attend one of your meetings. Could I possibly join you next week at your November get-together? (5) I would love to meet all of you and would also be happy to share my dog training experience with your members if they have any questions.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best
Heather
Now who could say 'no' to such a considerate request? Not only have you been up-front about who you are and why you are interested in attending their group, you have also offered to help serve them - and you're not even a member yet!
Don't be afraid to invite yourself to meetings in this way. The worst thing that could happen is that they say 'no.' And maybe that's not the type of group you'd like to socialize with anyway!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Public Speaking: Using Notes Effectively - Top 7 Tips
Having seen quite a number of speeches, I've seen people use all different kinds of methods for organizing their notes. Some people write the whole speech out on paper and read it, some have key points on pages that they flip through. Some people have note cards, some print out their PowerPoint slides.
No matter the method, there is one thing all these people have in common: they usually don't need their notes. When it comes down to it, notes usually serve as nothing more than a distraction for both the audience and the speaker.
So before I begin talking about how to use notes effectively, I want to make it clear that not having any notes is always the best option. I can however understand if having notes in front of you makes you feel more confident. So how can you use your notes in a way that makes them less of a distraction? Here are seven easy tips:
1. Never talk about your notes
If you say things like: "Let me see here...," "I know I wrote the next part down somewhere," or "Good thing I brought my notes along!" everyone in the audience is suddenly focused on your notes instead of you and your message.
2. Never apologize for referencing your notes
If you forget what comes next, calmly pause, check your notes and continue. There's no need for an apology. Like point #1, you just end up taking attention away from you. Having pauses in your speech is a good thing. It gives us time to think about what you just said. Pretend the pause is planned and use that time to regain your footing.
3. Don't read from your notes
There is nothing worse than the speaker who writes the entire speech and then stands up and reads it. That is not a speech, and there is no faster way to lose credibility with your audience.
4. Put your notes on the fewest number of pages possible
Since people generally don't reference their notes, what normally happens if they do suddenly need them is that they end up paging through everything searching for their place. This takes time and is very distracting to the audience. It also rattles the speaker as he panics searching for the next topic.
5. Write largely
Please don't write your notes your small that you need to pick them up and put them in front of your face to read them. You should write your notes large enough that you can read them easily from a distance - at least if they are sitting on the table next to you.
6. Organize your points clearly
Write short memory joggers that you can read at a glance, not long convoluted sentences. Highlight your main points so it's easy to find your place. Create a system that is logical to you and that you can remember in the heat of the moment.
7. Keep your cool
No matter what, don't panic. If you suddenly blank, take a moment to think about what comes next while your audience soaks up the last thing you said. If you stay calm you will most likely think of the next point without needing your notes. If you panic, you'll draw a blank and make the situation harder on yourself.
How do you make your notes work for you? Leave your tips here for others to learn from!
No matter the method, there is one thing all these people have in common: they usually don't need their notes. When it comes down to it, notes usually serve as nothing more than a distraction for both the audience and the speaker.
So before I begin talking about how to use notes effectively, I want to make it clear that not having any notes is always the best option. I can however understand if having notes in front of you makes you feel more confident. So how can you use your notes in a way that makes them less of a distraction? Here are seven easy tips:
1. Never talk about your notes
If you say things like: "Let me see here...," "I know I wrote the next part down somewhere," or "Good thing I brought my notes along!" everyone in the audience is suddenly focused on your notes instead of you and your message.
2. Never apologize for referencing your notes
If you forget what comes next, calmly pause, check your notes and continue. There's no need for an apology. Like point #1, you just end up taking attention away from you. Having pauses in your speech is a good thing. It gives us time to think about what you just said. Pretend the pause is planned and use that time to regain your footing.
3. Don't read from your notes
There is nothing worse than the speaker who writes the entire speech and then stands up and reads it. That is not a speech, and there is no faster way to lose credibility with your audience.
4. Put your notes on the fewest number of pages possible
Since people generally don't reference their notes, what normally happens if they do suddenly need them is that they end up paging through everything searching for their place. This takes time and is very distracting to the audience. It also rattles the speaker as he panics searching for the next topic.
5. Write largely
Please don't write your notes your small that you need to pick them up and put them in front of your face to read them. You should write your notes large enough that you can read them easily from a distance - at least if they are sitting on the table next to you.
6. Organize your points clearly
Write short memory joggers that you can read at a glance, not long convoluted sentences. Highlight your main points so it's easy to find your place. Create a system that is logical to you and that you can remember in the heat of the moment.
7. Keep your cool
No matter what, don't panic. If you suddenly blank, take a moment to think about what comes next while your audience soaks up the last thing you said. If you stay calm you will most likely think of the next point without needing your notes. If you panic, you'll draw a blank and make the situation harder on yourself.
How do you make your notes work for you? Leave your tips here for others to learn from!
Monday, October 20, 2008
English Language: Take, Bring, Send, Follow & Fetch
Pop Quiz, Singapore:
Fill in the blank:
I'm ___________ my friend to the airport this afternoon.
a) taking
b) bringing
c) sending
d) following
e) all of the above
How many of you answered 'e?' Be honest! Here in Singapore all of these words are used almost interchangeably. In Standard English the only correct answer is "a) taking."
Here's the difference between these words:
Taking = movement away from you. Therefore, you can say, "I'm taking my friend to the airport, the store, home (to his/her house, not yours)"
Bringing = movement towards you. You can bring your friend home (to your home) from the airport. You can ask your friends to bring (you) a bottle of wine for dinner too.
Sending = movement away from you and you do not go with the thing you're sending. Just like when you send a letter, you don't jump in the mailbox with it, the same is true if you send your friends to the airport - you don't go with them. You send your friends somewhere when you for example, call a taxi for them and the taxi comes and picks them up and you stay home.
Following = doing the same thing as someone else, just after them. So in our airport example, your friend is driving to the airport in his car and you are following him in your car. When he changes lanes, you change lanes, when he turns, you turn - all the way to the airport.
Another word I like to throw into this mix is "fetch." I often hear people say they are going to "fetch" their friend at the airport. Although this may be correct in the sense that it follows the definition "to begin in one place, travel to another, get something and travel back to the starting place," in practice we usually only use the word "fetch" when referring to a game dogs play. We usually don't "fetch" our kids at school, "fetch" our partners at work, or "fetch" our friends. A better phrase to use instead is "pick up."
So, when our 5 guests arrived in Singapore last week, I took my husband with me to the airport to pick them up. Since there were too many people to fit in one car, some of us got in a taxi and followed my husband home. One of their bags was lost so the airport staff had it sent to us the next day. It was a good thing it arrived because it was filled with all the presents they brought for our daughter.
Fill in the blank:
I'm ___________ my friend to the airport this afternoon.
a) taking
b) bringing
c) sending
d) following
e) all of the above
How many of you answered 'e?' Be honest! Here in Singapore all of these words are used almost interchangeably. In Standard English the only correct answer is "a) taking."
Here's the difference between these words:
Taking = movement away from you. Therefore, you can say, "I'm taking my friend to the airport, the store, home (to his/her house, not yours)"
Bringing = movement towards you. You can bring your friend home (to your home) from the airport. You can ask your friends to bring (you) a bottle of wine for dinner too.
Sending = movement away from you and you do not go with the thing you're sending. Just like when you send a letter, you don't jump in the mailbox with it, the same is true if you send your friends to the airport - you don't go with them. You send your friends somewhere when you for example, call a taxi for them and the taxi comes and picks them up and you stay home.
Following = doing the same thing as someone else, just after them. So in our airport example, your friend is driving to the airport in his car and you are following him in your car. When he changes lanes, you change lanes, when he turns, you turn - all the way to the airport.
Another word I like to throw into this mix is "fetch." I often hear people say they are going to "fetch" their friend at the airport. Although this may be correct in the sense that it follows the definition "to begin in one place, travel to another, get something and travel back to the starting place," in practice we usually only use the word "fetch" when referring to a game dogs play. We usually don't "fetch" our kids at school, "fetch" our partners at work, or "fetch" our friends. A better phrase to use instead is "pick up."
So, when our 5 guests arrived in Singapore last week, I took my husband with me to the airport to pick them up. Since there were too many people to fit in one car, some of us got in a taxi and followed my husband home. One of their bags was lost so the airport staff had it sent to us the next day. It was a good thing it arrived because it was filled with all the presents they brought for our daughter.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Speech Training: The Terrible 'TH'
Many of us grew up with parents that told us it's rude to stick our tongues out at people. I'm here to tell you that these words of wisdom did not apply to when you need make to make the sound /th/.
So many people seem to be scared to open their mouths when they speak or let anything other than a sliver of teeth show when they mumble through their words. Watch yourself in the mirror. When you make the sound /th/ you should be able to see the tip of your tongue pointing out between your teeth. If you can't, you are most likely making a /d/ or /t/ sound which is incorrect according to the most common pronunciation guides.
Here are a few sentences you can work on to practice the /th/ sound:
I'm thinking of 3,333 things
Tim the thin twin tinsmith
Lesser leather never weathered, wetter weather better
Thank the other three brothers on their father's mother's brother's side
So many people seem to be scared to open their mouths when they speak or let anything other than a sliver of teeth show when they mumble through their words. Watch yourself in the mirror. When you make the sound /th/ you should be able to see the tip of your tongue pointing out between your teeth. If you can't, you are most likely making a /d/ or /t/ sound which is incorrect according to the most common pronunciation guides.
Here are a few sentences you can work on to practice the /th/ sound:
I'm thinking of 3,333 things
Tim the thin twin tinsmith
Lesser leather never weathered, wetter weather better
Thank the other three brothers on their father's mother's brother's side
Monday, October 13, 2008
Communication Etiquette: Why's it important?
When I tell people that one of the main topics I write about on my blog is communication etiquette, I'm often asked, "Why's that important?" And really, that's a valid question. In a world where we spend less and less time conversing with each other face-to-face and more and more time in front of our computers instant messaging and writing status updates, it's easy to forget the importance of communication etiquette. People tend to forget that even when we IM there is a certain protocol in place as to how it's done and what is said.
So why is protocol and etiquette important? This is how we cement our relationships. People who know the ins and outs of how to communicate appropriately and successfully generally have better relationships, and when you have a multitude of solid relationships, it's a lot easier to get things done.
When you surround yourself with people you like and like to do business with, things just run more smoothly. You go out of your way to help others because you want to help your friends and not because your doing a colleague a favor. You can make things happen faster because you know exactly who to call when you need help and know that they are also ready and willing to help you when you need it.
What if you don't know someone who can print your sales folders overnight for a good price? Chances are you have a friend in your network who knows someone. By leveraging your relationship, you might just be able to make a successful deal.
This is what networking and building relationships is all about. But if you blow it from the start by making an awful first impression, not following up with the person or saying something inappropriate, you could lose the relationship before you've even started building it.
Relationships are our lifeblood not only socially, but also professionally. Make sure that you are up to speed on the rules of etiquette that govern how you interact with others - especially how you communicate!
So why is protocol and etiquette important? This is how we cement our relationships. People who know the ins and outs of how to communicate appropriately and successfully generally have better relationships, and when you have a multitude of solid relationships, it's a lot easier to get things done.
When you surround yourself with people you like and like to do business with, things just run more smoothly. You go out of your way to help others because you want to help your friends and not because your doing a colleague a favor. You can make things happen faster because you know exactly who to call when you need help and know that they are also ready and willing to help you when you need it.
What if you don't know someone who can print your sales folders overnight for a good price? Chances are you have a friend in your network who knows someone. By leveraging your relationship, you might just be able to make a successful deal.
This is what networking and building relationships is all about. But if you blow it from the start by making an awful first impression, not following up with the person or saying something inappropriate, you could lose the relationship before you've even started building it.
Relationships are our lifeblood not only socially, but also professionally. Make sure that you are up to speed on the rules of etiquette that govern how you interact with others - especially how you communicate!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Speech Training: Does Your Accent Matter?
I am a strong supporter of the idea that your accent doesn't matter; it's the clarity of your speech and your message that's important. But looking at the news lately, it seems that I am in the minority.
Every headline has something to do with vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin's accent. Is it real? Is it fake? Does it sound educated or uneducated? Where does it come from? What will it mean for the election?
All I have to say is that if an accent is enough to tip the election scales (either way), America is in even more trouble than we thought.
It does bring up the important issue though that an accent, if too heavy or different from the norm, can be a distraction - so much so that no one listens to the message. This in itself is motivation to work on one's diction and pronunciation.
Many people have cut Palin down for lax pronunciation. For example, she drops her 'g' in words like 'going' so they sound more like 'goin.' Plenty of Americans speak this way on a daily basis. The problem here is that Americans don't expect to hear this informal speaking style in a formal debate or televised interview.
It's not so much that the accent is 'wrong' but that, according to a large number of people, it is inappropriate for the situation. This then turns our discussion into more of a social debate than a linguistic one.
Everything comes down to knowing your audience. Presidential and vice presidential candidates have scores of advisers who not only tell them what to say, but also how to say it. Palin was chosen because the Republican camp felt that she would appeal most to the American audience. After the backlash against her, they may begin to feel otherwise.
Here are a selection of articles that have hit the press recently:
Everything You Heard Is Wrong - New York Times
Pinker on Palin's "nucular" - Language Log
Palin's accent takes center stage - Politico
What Kind of Accent Does Sarah Palin Have? - Slate
Sarah Palin's accent explained - The Swamp
MoJo Audio: Linguist Robin Lakoff Analyzes Sarah Palin's Accent - Mother Jones (podcast)
What are your views? Let me know by leaving your comments here!
Every headline has something to do with vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin's accent. Is it real? Is it fake? Does it sound educated or uneducated? Where does it come from? What will it mean for the election?
All I have to say is that if an accent is enough to tip the election scales (either way), America is in even more trouble than we thought.
It does bring up the important issue though that an accent, if too heavy or different from the norm, can be a distraction - so much so that no one listens to the message. This in itself is motivation to work on one's diction and pronunciation.
Many people have cut Palin down for lax pronunciation. For example, she drops her 'g' in words like 'going' so they sound more like 'goin.' Plenty of Americans speak this way on a daily basis. The problem here is that Americans don't expect to hear this informal speaking style in a formal debate or televised interview.
It's not so much that the accent is 'wrong' but that, according to a large number of people, it is inappropriate for the situation. This then turns our discussion into more of a social debate than a linguistic one.
Everything comes down to knowing your audience. Presidential and vice presidential candidates have scores of advisers who not only tell them what to say, but also how to say it. Palin was chosen because the Republican camp felt that she would appeal most to the American audience. After the backlash against her, they may begin to feel otherwise.
Here are a selection of articles that have hit the press recently:
Everything You Heard Is Wrong - New York Times
Pinker on Palin's "nucular" - Language Log
Palin's accent takes center stage - Politico
What Kind of Accent Does Sarah Palin Have? - Slate
Sarah Palin's accent explained - The Swamp
MoJo Audio: Linguist Robin Lakoff Analyzes Sarah Palin's Accent - Mother Jones (podcast)
What are your views? Let me know by leaving your comments here!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Communication Etiquette: Eye Contact
I met someone for the first time the other day and when I shook her hand she didn't look me in the eyes. It's amazing what a difference such a seemingly minor non-verbal signal makes.
If you don't look someone in the eyes when you meet them, there are a number of assumptions the person could make:
1. You're hiding something
2. You're very insecure
3. You feel intimidated
4. You're not really paying attention
5. You're just rude
None of these assumptions are positive, and hopefully none of them are true. In my situation, I could tell by the rest of the person's body language that she was just a bit insecure. But I could easily see how other people could read her signals as being rude.
The worst part is that I don't even think she realized the message she was sending. It's very possible that she has had a hard time connecting with others and not known why. Think of how many relationships have started off on the wrong foot because of this small mistake!
When you meet someone for the first time, eye contact is just as important, if not more important than a firm handshake. Make sure you make the best possible first impression and look your new acquaintance directly in the eyes.
If you don't look someone in the eyes when you meet them, there are a number of assumptions the person could make:
1. You're hiding something
2. You're very insecure
3. You feel intimidated
4. You're not really paying attention
5. You're just rude
None of these assumptions are positive, and hopefully none of them are true. In my situation, I could tell by the rest of the person's body language that she was just a bit insecure. But I could easily see how other people could read her signals as being rude.
The worst part is that I don't even think she realized the message she was sending. It's very possible that she has had a hard time connecting with others and not known why. Think of how many relationships have started off on the wrong foot because of this small mistake!
When you meet someone for the first time, eye contact is just as important, if not more important than a firm handshake. Make sure you make the best possible first impression and look your new acquaintance directly in the eyes.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Public Speaking: The Secret
I am going to let you in on a little secret. Actually, it's a really big secret. It's the secret that every single person who ever has to do a presentation wants to know:
How can I deliver a powerful, persuasive and entertaining presentation that makes people stop and listen?
The answer?
BE YOURSELF.
Really.
That's it.
Honestly.
I'm not lying.
I believe, along with every other public speaker on the planet, that the best speakers are the ones who can be themselves on stage. They don't put on a show. They don't use big words to impress their audiences. They don't do what they think they should do. They just do what comes to them - naturally.
This authenticity is what draws us to a speaker and makes us sit up and listen. So what's so hard about being yourself? There could be a number of issues holding you back, and until you take care of each of these, you'll never reach your true potential as a speaker.
1. You don't know who you are
This point is actually a lot more complicated than how it looks on paper. It's one of life's big questions and one which all of us are always working to answer: Who am I? The closer you are to answering this question for this point in your life, the better a speaker you will be. If you aren't exactly sure who you are or what you stand for, it will be hard to open yourself up to an audience and even harder for your audience to trust you and your message.
2. You are trying to be a "speaker"
You've taken so many courses and studied so many "master speakers" that you think that's the one and only way you should speak. All I can say is a big, huge, fat, "WRONG!" Didn't you ever listen to your mother when she asked that rhetorical question about whether you'd jump off a bridge... ? Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean it's right. The top speakers have found a style that works for them, now you need to find a style that works for you. This is incredibly easy if you just BE YOURSELF.
3. Being yourself makes you feel too vulnerable
It's scary standing in front of a group of people and sharing what's on your mind. If you put up a front and pretend to be someone you aren't it's a lot easier to accept failure. If people didn't like the talk you don't have to take it personally because really, you weren't personally involved. You can blame it on your "style" instead of accepting that maybe someone in the audience didn't like you. I'll let you in on another secret: not everyone is going to like you. That's just a fact. The sooner you accept this and let it go, the better.
So how can you become more authentic? You should be able to speak on stage the same way you speak to your closest friends and colleagues. There is nothing wrong with being conversational, asking for your audience's opinion or showing that you have a sense of humor. You need to let go of what you think should be said or done and do what feels right for you. Don't compare yourself to others. You've been asked to speak because someone felt that you had something important to say. They asked you to speak because they like YOU, not you in a speaker's costume.
Take a deep breath, relax, put on a smile and share your passion with the world. That's what makes public speaking fun. Enjoy it!
How can I deliver a powerful, persuasive and entertaining presentation that makes people stop and listen?
The answer?
BE YOURSELF.
Really.
That's it.
Honestly.
I'm not lying.
I believe, along with every other public speaker on the planet, that the best speakers are the ones who can be themselves on stage. They don't put on a show. They don't use big words to impress their audiences. They don't do what they think they should do. They just do what comes to them - naturally.
This authenticity is what draws us to a speaker and makes us sit up and listen. So what's so hard about being yourself? There could be a number of issues holding you back, and until you take care of each of these, you'll never reach your true potential as a speaker.
1. You don't know who you are
This point is actually a lot more complicated than how it looks on paper. It's one of life's big questions and one which all of us are always working to answer: Who am I? The closer you are to answering this question for this point in your life, the better a speaker you will be. If you aren't exactly sure who you are or what you stand for, it will be hard to open yourself up to an audience and even harder for your audience to trust you and your message.
2. You are trying to be a "speaker"
You've taken so many courses and studied so many "master speakers" that you think that's the one and only way you should speak. All I can say is a big, huge, fat, "WRONG!" Didn't you ever listen to your mother when she asked that rhetorical question about whether you'd jump off a bridge... ? Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean it's right. The top speakers have found a style that works for them, now you need to find a style that works for you. This is incredibly easy if you just BE YOURSELF.
3. Being yourself makes you feel too vulnerable
It's scary standing in front of a group of people and sharing what's on your mind. If you put up a front and pretend to be someone you aren't it's a lot easier to accept failure. If people didn't like the talk you don't have to take it personally because really, you weren't personally involved. You can blame it on your "style" instead of accepting that maybe someone in the audience didn't like you. I'll let you in on another secret: not everyone is going to like you. That's just a fact. The sooner you accept this and let it go, the better.
So how can you become more authentic? You should be able to speak on stage the same way you speak to your closest friends and colleagues. There is nothing wrong with being conversational, asking for your audience's opinion or showing that you have a sense of humor. You need to let go of what you think should be said or done and do what feels right for you. Don't compare yourself to others. You've been asked to speak because someone felt that you had something important to say. They asked you to speak because they like YOU, not you in a speaker's costume.
Take a deep breath, relax, put on a smile and share your passion with the world. That's what makes public speaking fun. Enjoy it!
Friday, October 3, 2008
English Language: English is a Crazy Language
Here's one of my all-time favorites. I hope you enjoy it, and have a great weekend!
Let’s face it: English is a crazy language.
There’s no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? Is cheese the plural of choose?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through the annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was discombobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
Now I know why I flunked my English.
It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.
Let’s face it: English is a crazy language.
There’s no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? Is cheese the plural of choose?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through the annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was discombobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
Now I know why I flunked my English.
It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Public Speaking: The Dos and Don'ts of Q & A
As we gear up for more and more US presidential debates, we'll have the opportunity to see how the candidates handle themselves under the pressure of challenging questions. Handling "Question & Answer" sessions takes grace and tact, as well as a lot of quick thinking.
To make the most of your Q & A session and survive unscathed DO:
1. Listen carefully
It's very tempting to start formulating your answer to a question while the questioner is still in the middle of asking you something. Be careful not to get so caught up in your own thinking that you don't listen to full question. Don't jump ahead and make assumptions about the question. Give your full attention to the questioner.
2. Thank the person for the question
It's common courtesy to thank your questioner for their question. This can be done directly by saying, "Thank you for your question..." or indirectly: "I'm so glad you asked this question..."
3. Paraphrase the question
Paraphrasing the question accomplishes three things: it gives you the chance to be sure that you've understood the question correctly, if some people didn't hear the question when it was asked, it includes them in the discussion, and finally, it gives you time to think about your answer while you paraphrase the question.
4. Be short and sweet
This is especially true if you're sitting on a Q & A panel. It's always annoying when one speaker dominates all the time and the audience can't hear the views of the other panel members. Keep your answers simple and to the point.
5. Offer to continue the discussion later
If you know that a question deserves a much more elaborate answer than you have the time, energy or patience to answer on stage, don't hesitate to offer to speak to the person one-one after the session. This is also a useful tactic if you need more time to formulate an appropriate answer.
6. Be respectful
No matter how stupid the question, never show that you think that! Be careful of your non-verbal cues as well such as smiling or rolling your eyes.
7. Be prepared
Always be prepared for Q & A. Play devil's advocate with yourself and find as many holes in your arguments as you can. Think about what the worst questions would be that someone could ask and figure out how you'll handle them. It will really pay off to be prepared; you'll maintain your composure and look and sound confident.
If you don't want to lose the respect of your audience and hurt your reputation, DON'T:
1. Make up an answer or bluff your way through it
2. Insult the questioner
3. Blatantly avoid the question
4. Show incompetence by just saying, "I don't know," and moving on
5. Get into an argument or become hostile with the questioner
By following these Dos and Don'ts you should be well on your way to making a positive impression in a Q & A session.
Have you ever been stuck, confused, embarrassed or truly entertained by a question? Share it here on the comments board!
To make the most of your Q & A session and survive unscathed DO:
1. Listen carefully
It's very tempting to start formulating your answer to a question while the questioner is still in the middle of asking you something. Be careful not to get so caught up in your own thinking that you don't listen to full question. Don't jump ahead and make assumptions about the question. Give your full attention to the questioner.
2. Thank the person for the question
It's common courtesy to thank your questioner for their question. This can be done directly by saying, "Thank you for your question..." or indirectly: "I'm so glad you asked this question..."
3. Paraphrase the question
Paraphrasing the question accomplishes three things: it gives you the chance to be sure that you've understood the question correctly, if some people didn't hear the question when it was asked, it includes them in the discussion, and finally, it gives you time to think about your answer while you paraphrase the question.
4. Be short and sweet
This is especially true if you're sitting on a Q & A panel. It's always annoying when one speaker dominates all the time and the audience can't hear the views of the other panel members. Keep your answers simple and to the point.
5. Offer to continue the discussion later
If you know that a question deserves a much more elaborate answer than you have the time, energy or patience to answer on stage, don't hesitate to offer to speak to the person one-one after the session. This is also a useful tactic if you need more time to formulate an appropriate answer.
6. Be respectful
No matter how stupid the question, never show that you think that! Be careful of your non-verbal cues as well such as smiling or rolling your eyes.
7. Be prepared
Always be prepared for Q & A. Play devil's advocate with yourself and find as many holes in your arguments as you can. Think about what the worst questions would be that someone could ask and figure out how you'll handle them. It will really pay off to be prepared; you'll maintain your composure and look and sound confident.
If you don't want to lose the respect of your audience and hurt your reputation, DON'T:
1. Make up an answer or bluff your way through it
2. Insult the questioner
3. Blatantly avoid the question
4. Show incompetence by just saying, "I don't know," and moving on
5. Get into an argument or become hostile with the questioner
By following these Dos and Don'ts you should be well on your way to making a positive impression in a Q & A session.
Have you ever been stuck, confused, embarrassed or truly entertained by a question? Share it here on the comments board!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Public Speaking: 8 Tips to Make Your Audience Love You!
The key to a powerful presentation is to connect with members of your audience individually. This ‘human element’ is what makes the difference between an average presentation with some good information, and an excellent presentation that really impacts audience members on a personal level.
The bigger the audience, the harder this gets. You have to remember that an audience is made up of many different individuals, all with their own unique interests and expectations. It is hard to satisfy every person every time, but you can take some steps to ensure that your audience members feel a connection with you as a speaker and as a person.
1. Create a friendly environment
From the moment the first audience member arrives, you should exude positive energy. Remember that people will immediately make first impressions about you before you even begin your presentation. It is important that you appear positive, friendly, confident and approachable.
2. Face your audience
There is nothing worse than watching the back of a presenter’s head as he reads his Power Point slides. Make sure that you are always facing your audience. Visual aids are just that: aids. The audience should be focused on you, not your slides.
3. Make eye contact
Do your best to make eye contact with every member of your audience. Don’t get distracted by things you see out the window, or by the clock on the back wall. Your listeners’ eyes will follow your eyes, so if they see you looking out the window, they’ll wonder what you’re looking at and they’ll look too! Keep their focus on you by remaining focused on them.
Be careful that you don’t focus too much on one or two people, as it could make them feel uncomfortable. An exception to this rule could be if you are focusing on the most important people in the group: the decision-makers (your boss, the top client, etc.). They might expect extra attention from you, which leads me to the third point…
4. Know your audience
Do your homework. Know who will be attending your presentation and why. If you are pitching a new idea, make sure you keep the full attention and interest of the key players in the room—the decision makers.
Be sure to prepare your presentation with your audience members in mind. Have you taken into consideration their needs and expectations? Are you giving them the information that they want (or maybe need) to hear in a format that will appeal to them?
5. Tell stories
Throughout history, some of the greatest thinkers have reverted to storytelling to make their lessons more clear. Philosophers and religious leaders especially, have used stories to illustrate complex concepts and moral values.
Use real-life stories that your listeners can relate to in order to drive a point home and have it be remembered. People are also more interested in listening to a good story than a boring lecture.
6. Use humor
Humor, when used effectively, can lighten the mood, make people feel more relaxed and help them to remember the things you say. Using humor does not mean you should suddenly become a stand-up comedian rattling off jokes right and left. It shouldn’t be forced either.
Use common sense and your best judgment when interjecting humor. And remember that not everyone has the same sense of humor—what you think is funny could be dumb, immature or disrespectful to someone else. If in doubt, refrain.
7. Be respectful
This point really goes without saying, but just to be clear: racist, sexist and elitist comments are unacceptable in every public presentation. Have respect for every member of your audience at all times!
8. Read your audience
You need to pay attention to your audience just as much as you would like them to pay attention to you. An attentive speaker will notice when energy levels are low, listeners are losing interest, or individuals are not paying attention. It’s your job to change the situation in your favor. This is a good time to tell a story, inject humor, or maybe just take a break.
The bigger the audience, the harder this gets. You have to remember that an audience is made up of many different individuals, all with their own unique interests and expectations. It is hard to satisfy every person every time, but you can take some steps to ensure that your audience members feel a connection with you as a speaker and as a person.
1. Create a friendly environment
From the moment the first audience member arrives, you should exude positive energy. Remember that people will immediately make first impressions about you before you even begin your presentation. It is important that you appear positive, friendly, confident and approachable.
2. Face your audience
There is nothing worse than watching the back of a presenter’s head as he reads his Power Point slides. Make sure that you are always facing your audience. Visual aids are just that: aids. The audience should be focused on you, not your slides.
3. Make eye contact
Do your best to make eye contact with every member of your audience. Don’t get distracted by things you see out the window, or by the clock on the back wall. Your listeners’ eyes will follow your eyes, so if they see you looking out the window, they’ll wonder what you’re looking at and they’ll look too! Keep their focus on you by remaining focused on them.
Be careful that you don’t focus too much on one or two people, as it could make them feel uncomfortable. An exception to this rule could be if you are focusing on the most important people in the group: the decision-makers (your boss, the top client, etc.). They might expect extra attention from you, which leads me to the third point…
4. Know your audience
Do your homework. Know who will be attending your presentation and why. If you are pitching a new idea, make sure you keep the full attention and interest of the key players in the room—the decision makers.
Be sure to prepare your presentation with your audience members in mind. Have you taken into consideration their needs and expectations? Are you giving them the information that they want (or maybe need) to hear in a format that will appeal to them?
5. Tell stories
Throughout history, some of the greatest thinkers have reverted to storytelling to make their lessons more clear. Philosophers and religious leaders especially, have used stories to illustrate complex concepts and moral values.
Use real-life stories that your listeners can relate to in order to drive a point home and have it be remembered. People are also more interested in listening to a good story than a boring lecture.
6. Use humor
Humor, when used effectively, can lighten the mood, make people feel more relaxed and help them to remember the things you say. Using humor does not mean you should suddenly become a stand-up comedian rattling off jokes right and left. It shouldn’t be forced either.
Use common sense and your best judgment when interjecting humor. And remember that not everyone has the same sense of humor—what you think is funny could be dumb, immature or disrespectful to someone else. If in doubt, refrain.
7. Be respectful
This point really goes without saying, but just to be clear: racist, sexist and elitist comments are unacceptable in every public presentation. Have respect for every member of your audience at all times!
8. Read your audience
You need to pay attention to your audience just as much as you would like them to pay attention to you. An attentive speaker will notice when energy levels are low, listeners are losing interest, or individuals are not paying attention. It’s your job to change the situation in your favor. This is a good time to tell a story, inject humor, or maybe just take a break.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
English Language: UK vs. US English Spelling Rules
One of the largest differences between UK and US English is simply a cosmetic one: spelling. Here are 9 of the most common spelling variations between UK and US English.
1) UK -our = US -or
Examples: colour/color, humour/humor, flavour/flavor, favourite/favorite
2) UK -re = US -er
Examples: centre/center, metre/meter, litre/liter
3) UK -ise = US -ize
Examples: realise/realize, organise/organize, recognise/recognize
4) UK -que = US -ck
Examples: cheque/check, chequered/checkered
5) UK -ll before -ing = US -l before -ing
Examples: travelling/traveling, signalling/signaling
6) UK -l = US -ll
Examples: appal/appall, enrol/enroll
7) UK -ce = US -se
Examples: licence/license (noun form), defence/defense
An exeption to the rule: UK practise (verb) and practice (noun) = US practice (both verb and noun).
8) UK -ogue = US -og
Examples: catalogue/catalog, dialogue/dialog, epilogue/epilog
9) UK -t =US -ed (in a select group of past tense verbs)
Examples: spelt/spelled, dreamt/dreamed, burnt/burned, spoilt/spoiled
Have you gotten into trouble with other spelling variations not included here? Let me know by leaving your comments!
1) UK -our = US -or
Examples: colour/color, humour/humor, flavour/flavor, favourite/favorite
2) UK -re = US -er
Examples: centre/center, metre/meter, litre/liter
3) UK -ise = US -ize
Examples: realise/realize, organise/organize, recognise/recognize
4) UK -que = US -ck
Examples: cheque/check, chequered/checkered
5) UK -ll before -ing = US -l before -ing
Examples: travelling/traveling, signalling/signaling
6) UK -l = US -ll
Examples: appal/appall, enrol/enroll
7) UK -ce = US -se
Examples: licence/license (noun form), defence/defense
An exeption to the rule: UK practise (verb) and practice (noun) = US practice (both verb and noun).
8) UK -ogue = US -og
Examples: catalogue/catalog, dialogue/dialog, epilogue/epilog
9) UK -t =US -ed (in a select group of past tense verbs)
Examples: spelt/spelled, dreamt/dreamed, burnt/burned, spoilt/spoiled
Have you gotten into trouble with other spelling variations not included here? Let me know by leaving your comments!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Public Speaking: Top 5 Questions to Ask about Your Venue
When you are asked to speak, it is incredibly important that you have an idea of where and how you will be speaking. It's really great if you can visit the venue beforehand, but sometimes you may not have that opportunity.
Here are some questions to ask before your talk and why they are important.
1. How will the audience be seated?
Your audience could be in rows like in a theater, they could be sitting at round tables in a ballroom, or maybe they'll just be sitting around a boardroom table. It is important to know not just the size of your audience but also how they are seated. You need to think about how you will or will not be able to move around the stage and what kind of contact you will be able to make with the audience.
2. Will I be sitting or standing for my presentation?
Usually you will stand for your presentation, but you might find a situation where you speak on a panel and could be seated. You will need to think about your delivery style a bit differently if you are sitting down to speak. It's harder to use gestures and body language to emphasize your points.
3. What kind of microphones will be available?
The first question should probably be whether there will be a microphone available at all, then what kind exactly. Will you be forced behind a speaker stand with an attached mic? Will you need to hold a microphone or will they have a clip-on mic available?
4. What kind of AV equipment will be on hand?
If you are planning on using a PowerPoint presentation, you need to be sure that the venue has the appropriate audio-visual equipment or you will need to make your own arrangements. You'll need a computer, projector, screen, remote clicker (to change slides) and a laser pointer (if you like to use one - I personally don't). If for example, the venue or organizers aren't supplying a clicker, you'll need to bring your own, or you'll need to prepare the appropriate notes or signals with another person to change your slides. Make sure that you check and double check that all your equipment is in order before your presentation.
5. Who can I contact if I have any problems?
This is probably the most important question to ask, but the one everyone forgets. If you know beforehand who is in charge of the lighting, the air conditioning and the speakers for example, you will save a lot of time when you're on site and need a helping hand.
You might think that being a good public speaker has to do with preparing a good presentation, but there is a lot more involved than just that. The best public speakers remember to ask the right questions and are are always prepared for every situation. Never be caught off-guard.
Here are some questions to ask before your talk and why they are important.
1. How will the audience be seated?
Your audience could be in rows like in a theater, they could be sitting at round tables in a ballroom, or maybe they'll just be sitting around a boardroom table. It is important to know not just the size of your audience but also how they are seated. You need to think about how you will or will not be able to move around the stage and what kind of contact you will be able to make with the audience.
2. Will I be sitting or standing for my presentation?
Usually you will stand for your presentation, but you might find a situation where you speak on a panel and could be seated. You will need to think about your delivery style a bit differently if you are sitting down to speak. It's harder to use gestures and body language to emphasize your points.
3. What kind of microphones will be available?
The first question should probably be whether there will be a microphone available at all, then what kind exactly. Will you be forced behind a speaker stand with an attached mic? Will you need to hold a microphone or will they have a clip-on mic available?
4. What kind of AV equipment will be on hand?
If you are planning on using a PowerPoint presentation, you need to be sure that the venue has the appropriate audio-visual equipment or you will need to make your own arrangements. You'll need a computer, projector, screen, remote clicker (to change slides) and a laser pointer (if you like to use one - I personally don't). If for example, the venue or organizers aren't supplying a clicker, you'll need to bring your own, or you'll need to prepare the appropriate notes or signals with another person to change your slides. Make sure that you check and double check that all your equipment is in order before your presentation.
5. Who can I contact if I have any problems?
This is probably the most important question to ask, but the one everyone forgets. If you know beforehand who is in charge of the lighting, the air conditioning and the speakers for example, you will save a lot of time when you're on site and need a helping hand.
You might think that being a good public speaker has to do with preparing a good presentation, but there is a lot more involved than just that. The best public speakers remember to ask the right questions and are are always prepared for every situation. Never be caught off-guard.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Fun Friday: Pronunciation Rhyme
Here's a short rhyme I received in an email. I'm not sure who wrote it, but it's a great example of crazy English pronunciation rules. Enjoy!
I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through?
Well done!
And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird,
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead--
For goodness' sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.)
A moth is not a moth in mother
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there,
And dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose--
Just look them up--and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go, and thwart and cart--
Come, come I've hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Why man alive!
I'd learned to talk it when I was five,
And yet to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn't learned at fifty-five!
I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through?
Well done!
And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird,
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead--
For goodness' sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.)
A moth is not a moth in mother
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there,
And dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose--
Just look them up--and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go, and thwart and cart--
Come, come I've hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Why man alive!
I'd learned to talk it when I was five,
And yet to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn't learned at fifty-five!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Public Speaking: 5 Mistakes Public Speakers Make
Have you ever been disappointed by the quality of some speakers at a conference? I think all of us have been in that situation. Here are the top 7 mistakes public speakers make and how you can avoid them.
1. They don't look professional
It really doesn't matter if you just started your public speaking career or if you're the biggest name on the block, the rule still applies: always look your best.
2. They read their speeches
There's nothing worse than watching a speaker read his/her speech. You shouldn't memorize your speech word for word, and there's nothing wrong with referring to notes, but please, don't read from start to finish!
3. They don't speak clearly
Remember to use large facial movements when you speak. Your mouth needs to open to speak clearly. Be careful that you don't speak too quickly and be sure to pause between points so we can digest what you've said and follow what you're saying.
4. They have illegible visual aides
Your PowerPoint slides, flip charts, white board or whatever you might be using should also be nice and clear. Don't clutter your visual aides with lots of writing that is too small for your audience to read.
5. They give examples that don't make sense to the audience
When it comes to connecting with your audience, do your homework. You need to know something about the people you are speaking to in order to use examples and stories that make sense to them. This is especially true when you're speaking to international audiences made up of cultures different than your own.
Do you see yourself in any of these points? Do you best to change your ways. Your audience will thank you.
1. They don't look professional
It really doesn't matter if you just started your public speaking career or if you're the biggest name on the block, the rule still applies: always look your best.
2. They read their speeches
There's nothing worse than watching a speaker read his/her speech. You shouldn't memorize your speech word for word, and there's nothing wrong with referring to notes, but please, don't read from start to finish!
3. They don't speak clearly
Remember to use large facial movements when you speak. Your mouth needs to open to speak clearly. Be careful that you don't speak too quickly and be sure to pause between points so we can digest what you've said and follow what you're saying.
4. They have illegible visual aides
Your PowerPoint slides, flip charts, white board or whatever you might be using should also be nice and clear. Don't clutter your visual aides with lots of writing that is too small for your audience to read.
5. They give examples that don't make sense to the audience
When it comes to connecting with your audience, do your homework. You need to know something about the people you are speaking to in order to use examples and stories that make sense to them. This is especially true when you're speaking to international audiences made up of cultures different than your own.
Do you see yourself in any of these points? Do you best to change your ways. Your audience will thank you.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Communication Etiquette: Post-meeting Follow-up
When you meet a new client for the first time, do you do any follow up with them after the meeting? It is common courtesy to send off a quick email (at the least) to say that it was nice to meet the person. Try to add a special detail from your conversation that shows you aren't just sending a form letter.
Here's an example of a short and sweet follow-up letter you could send:
Dear John
After so many emails back and forth, it was great to finally meet you today. I enjoyed hearing about your company and what you do, and look forward to working with you in the near future.
I hope your children feel better soon. It must be awful when both are sick at the same time!
All the best
Heather
The key is to simply be yourself. Don't think that you need to use impressive language or show off a huge vocabulary. Be as sincere as you (hopefully) were at the meeting.
Try to send your "great to meet you" mail as soon as possible. I try to send it as soon as I get back to the office (or home) from the meeting. Then when they get back and check their mail, my note will be there waiting for them. It makes a fabulous impression, shows that you care about the person and that you hope to build a relationship with him or her.
Here's an example of a short and sweet follow-up letter you could send:
Dear John
After so many emails back and forth, it was great to finally meet you today. I enjoyed hearing about your company and what you do, and look forward to working with you in the near future.
I hope your children feel better soon. It must be awful when both are sick at the same time!
All the best
Heather
The key is to simply be yourself. Don't think that you need to use impressive language or show off a huge vocabulary. Be as sincere as you (hopefully) were at the meeting.
Try to send your "great to meet you" mail as soon as possible. I try to send it as soon as I get back to the office (or home) from the meeting. Then when they get back and check their mail, my note will be there waiting for them. It makes a fabulous impression, shows that you care about the person and that you hope to build a relationship with him or her.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
English Language: Raising a Bilingual or Multilingual Child
For those of you who don't know, my husband is Danish, so of course we speak both English and Danish to our 3 month old daughter and have plans to raise her as a full bilingual. It surprises me how often I get questions and comments about our choice to do so.
Just last weekend after a Danish friend heard me speaking English to my daughter she shockingly said, "You speak English to her?! Isn't she going to be confused?" Another Chinese friend once told me that my daughter won't be able to speak "for years" because it "takes longer" when children learn more than one language at once. Even my husband has fears that our daughter will end up speaking Danish with an accent since she doesn't hear it as much as English.
Even though there are these (and other) fears, the truth remains that our children are growing up in an increasingly global world. More and more parents are trying to teach their children multiple languages from a young age hoping that it will benefit them in the long term.
So what do the linguists say?
First of all it's important to understand how children learn language. When we are born we have an innate capability for speech. Barring a specific speech impediment or physical disability we have the capability to produce every sound in every language perfectly. Over time a process called "perceptual narrowing" occurs where we begin to figure out which sounds we need for our own language(s) and we focus on those sounds and ignore any other sounds.
This is why language input is important from a young age. My husband's fear of our daughter developing an American English accent on her Danish is unwarranted because first of all, I don't speak Danish to her (more on that later) and secondly, my husband spends every moment he can speaking, reading and singing Danish to her. I also try to supplement that with Danish music CDs and videos in the background so she hears the sounds.
When I was learning about first language acquisition during my time at university, the one-parent, one-language system was still widely recommended. What this means is that each parent should only speak one language to the child (ie: I speak English, my husband speaks Danish) so that the child doesn't get confused. More recent studies suggest that children actually don't get confused and when they switch between two languages or use two languages simultaneously (this is called code switching) it is a sign of mastery of the languages.
Personally, I still feel that the one-parent, one-language system is the best way to go. This is purely based on my own experience with language. I personally find it confusing and feel that my language skills are diminished when my husband and I switch back and forth between languages. I feel that it's harder to master a language if you allow yourself to "fill in the blanks" with another language. Code switching is actually a much more involved process than "filling in the blanks" and has many nuances, but we won't discuss this here.
I also choose to only speak English to my daughter because it feels more natural speaking my native language to my child. No matter how fluent you become in a foreign language, I truly believe that you will never be able to express yourself in exactly the same way as your native tongue permits.
Many parents are scared to introduce multiple languages because they fear it will "take longer" for a bilingual child to start speaking or that there could be "language delays" in the child's speech. There are no linguistic studies that support this argument, and that's that!
So what can you do if you want your child to grow up bilingual or multilingual? Here are a few ideas:
1. Make sure that your child has live interaction with language speakers. Videos and music can be supplemented but will not be as effective as a real person.
2. Read to your child
3. Talk about many different subjects in many situations in order to build a larger vocabulary.
4. However you choose to introduce two languages (one-parent, one-language or speaking the minority language at home) be consistent.
5. Gently guide your children in the two languages. Don't be harsh or demeaning when they make mistakes (and they will). You want them to develop a love of languages, not be scared to speak them.
6. Remember that learning languages is hard. We always say that children learn languages easily, but remember, they usually can't carry on meaningful conversations with strangers until they are around 5 years old! Adults can actually master languages much more quickly! Give your children the time they need to be comfortable with language.
Once you make the decision to raise your children bilingually, stick to it! A language is the greatest gift you can give another person. You can open new doors and opportunities for your children that might not have been there could they not speak additional language. I'm sure that, one day, my daughter will thank me - in Danish and English.
Just last weekend after a Danish friend heard me speaking English to my daughter she shockingly said, "You speak English to her?! Isn't she going to be confused?" Another Chinese friend once told me that my daughter won't be able to speak "for years" because it "takes longer" when children learn more than one language at once. Even my husband has fears that our daughter will end up speaking Danish with an accent since she doesn't hear it as much as English.
Even though there are these (and other) fears, the truth remains that our children are growing up in an increasingly global world. More and more parents are trying to teach their children multiple languages from a young age hoping that it will benefit them in the long term.
So what do the linguists say?
First of all it's important to understand how children learn language. When we are born we have an innate capability for speech. Barring a specific speech impediment or physical disability we have the capability to produce every sound in every language perfectly. Over time a process called "perceptual narrowing" occurs where we begin to figure out which sounds we need for our own language(s) and we focus on those sounds and ignore any other sounds.
This is why language input is important from a young age. My husband's fear of our daughter developing an American English accent on her Danish is unwarranted because first of all, I don't speak Danish to her (more on that later) and secondly, my husband spends every moment he can speaking, reading and singing Danish to her. I also try to supplement that with Danish music CDs and videos in the background so she hears the sounds.
When I was learning about first language acquisition during my time at university, the one-parent, one-language system was still widely recommended. What this means is that each parent should only speak one language to the child (ie: I speak English, my husband speaks Danish) so that the child doesn't get confused. More recent studies suggest that children actually don't get confused and when they switch between two languages or use two languages simultaneously (this is called code switching) it is a sign of mastery of the languages.
Personally, I still feel that the one-parent, one-language system is the best way to go. This is purely based on my own experience with language. I personally find it confusing and feel that my language skills are diminished when my husband and I switch back and forth between languages. I feel that it's harder to master a language if you allow yourself to "fill in the blanks" with another language. Code switching is actually a much more involved process than "filling in the blanks" and has many nuances, but we won't discuss this here.
I also choose to only speak English to my daughter because it feels more natural speaking my native language to my child. No matter how fluent you become in a foreign language, I truly believe that you will never be able to express yourself in exactly the same way as your native tongue permits.
Many parents are scared to introduce multiple languages because they fear it will "take longer" for a bilingual child to start speaking or that there could be "language delays" in the child's speech. There are no linguistic studies that support this argument, and that's that!
So what can you do if you want your child to grow up bilingual or multilingual? Here are a few ideas:
1. Make sure that your child has live interaction with language speakers. Videos and music can be supplemented but will not be as effective as a real person.
2. Read to your child
3. Talk about many different subjects in many situations in order to build a larger vocabulary.
4. However you choose to introduce two languages (one-parent, one-language or speaking the minority language at home) be consistent.
5. Gently guide your children in the two languages. Don't be harsh or demeaning when they make mistakes (and they will). You want them to develop a love of languages, not be scared to speak them.
6. Remember that learning languages is hard. We always say that children learn languages easily, but remember, they usually can't carry on meaningful conversations with strangers until they are around 5 years old! Adults can actually master languages much more quickly! Give your children the time they need to be comfortable with language.
Once you make the decision to raise your children bilingually, stick to it! A language is the greatest gift you can give another person. You can open new doors and opportunities for your children that might not have been there could they not speak additional language. I'm sure that, one day, my daughter will thank me - in Danish and English.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Public Speaking: Master the 3 Vs for Speaking Success!
When you are preparing your speech, don't just think about the words you use. Believe it or not, they're the least important part of your message!
When we communicate face-to-face, only 7% of our message is conveyed by the words that we use. This is called the Verbal element of our message. Our tone of voice, volume and pronunciation make up the Vocal element which conveys 38% of our message. The largest piece of the message pie goes to the third V, the Visual element. This comprises our gestures, facial expressions and body language and conveys a whopping 55% of our overall message.
The key to successful, influential communication is knowing how to make these three Vs work for you.
When you first meet a person, your three Vs should be perfectly aligned. When you say, "It's nice to meet you," it shouldn't just be a phrase. Your tone and body language should also mirror this sentiment. If they don't, the person you met will know from your first words that something is "off."
When you are speaking in public, you also need your 3 Vs to mesh. If your body language says one thing, but your words and voice another, your audience won't trust you or your message. You can't preach about confidence, but look and sound insecure. You'll come across as being superficial - the kiss of death for any public speaker.
Of course there are times when you might purposely mismatch your 3 Vs. Sarcasm is a good example. When your words and your tone don't match, tone wins and your message is understood as being sarcastic. For example, you could honestly say, "I just love pizza!" Or if you've had pizza five nights in a row and someone asks if you want pizza for dinner you might sarcastically say, "You know me. I just looooovvvveeee pizza..." Even though your words say that you love pizza, your tone and the delivery of your message sends quite a different message.
I've mastered another use for the 3 Vs in my relationship with my husband. He asks me if he can go golfing on Saturday and I say, "Sure, honey, if you want to." My words are positive, but the tone is just slightly off. Not off enough to be sarcastic, but just off enough that his little feelers go out and he knows something bad is happening, but he's not quite sure what. When he puts the message together with my blasé body language he figures out that maybe Saturday isn't the best day to go golfing. I don't think I'm the only woman that's mastered this tactic! I'm probably just the only one who's honest enough to admit that I know what I'm doing!
Try observing the 3 Vs in action when you speak with different people in different situations. As you begin to tune in to how people convey their messages you'll find that it's easier to adjust your own.
When we communicate face-to-face, only 7% of our message is conveyed by the words that we use. This is called the Verbal element of our message. Our tone of voice, volume and pronunciation make up the Vocal element which conveys 38% of our message. The largest piece of the message pie goes to the third V, the Visual element. This comprises our gestures, facial expressions and body language and conveys a whopping 55% of our overall message.
The key to successful, influential communication is knowing how to make these three Vs work for you.
When you first meet a person, your three Vs should be perfectly aligned. When you say, "It's nice to meet you," it shouldn't just be a phrase. Your tone and body language should also mirror this sentiment. If they don't, the person you met will know from your first words that something is "off."
When you are speaking in public, you also need your 3 Vs to mesh. If your body language says one thing, but your words and voice another, your audience won't trust you or your message. You can't preach about confidence, but look and sound insecure. You'll come across as being superficial - the kiss of death for any public speaker.
Of course there are times when you might purposely mismatch your 3 Vs. Sarcasm is a good example. When your words and your tone don't match, tone wins and your message is understood as being sarcastic. For example, you could honestly say, "I just love pizza!" Or if you've had pizza five nights in a row and someone asks if you want pizza for dinner you might sarcastically say, "You know me. I just looooovvvveeee pizza..." Even though your words say that you love pizza, your tone and the delivery of your message sends quite a different message.
I've mastered another use for the 3 Vs in my relationship with my husband. He asks me if he can go golfing on Saturday and I say, "Sure, honey, if you want to." My words are positive, but the tone is just slightly off. Not off enough to be sarcastic, but just off enough that his little feelers go out and he knows something bad is happening, but he's not quite sure what. When he puts the message together with my blasé body language he figures out that maybe Saturday isn't the best day to go golfing. I don't think I'm the only woman that's mastered this tactic! I'm probably just the only one who's honest enough to admit that I know what I'm doing!
Try observing the 3 Vs in action when you speak with different people in different situations. As you begin to tune in to how people convey their messages you'll find that it's easier to adjust your own.
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