Public Speaking: The Power of Forecasting

You've probably heard this overused pearl of wisdom from every presentation coach you've ever spoken to: "Say what you're going to say, say it, then say what you said." It is a good piece of advice, but do you really know how to apply it? In this article, I'd like to focus specifically on the 'say what you're going to say' part, which is also known as a forecast.

What is a forecast?
Just as a weather man or woman tells us what we can expect from our weather, you as a speaker are expected to give us the forecast of your talk. A forecast is as simple as one line outlining the main points of your presentation.

Why is a forecast important?
Have you ever listened to a presenter and wondered where in the world he was going? You have no idea what topics he's planning on covering, how long he's planning on speaking or what his main point is. As a result, you usually end up being bored, confused and frustrated that your time is being wasted.

If you don't want to do the same thing to your listeners, be sure to use a forecast. It gives your audience a road map of where you're going and how you plan on getting there.

When should you use your forecast?
The forecast should be clearly stated directly after your introduction and directly before your first point.

What does a forecast sound like?
Let's use a presentation scenario to illustrate how a forecast is developed. Your presentation topic is "Getting Organized" and you main points of the talk are:
1) organizing your mindset
2) organizing your home
3) organizing your workspace

There are many ways you could choose to forecast this talk, and depending on your ability and confidence level you might use one of the following or a variation.

Basic:

"There are 3 important areas to look at when we're talking about organization: organizing your mindset, your home and your workspace. Let's start by taking a look at your thoughts..."

Advanced:

"Organization starts with you. Once you understand how to better manage your own mindset, it will then be easier to organize your home and office. I'll show you how to conquer each of these areas this evening."

There is nothing wrong with the basic forecast. It is clear and concise. Most presenters (if they use a forecast) will use the basic one. The advanced forecast however, gives the same information in a more creative way that flows from your introduction to your first point.

Don't be afraid to start simple and use the basic forecast until you feel more comfortable. The most important thing is that your structure is clear and concise. When your audience doesn't know where you're going, they might assume that you also don't know, and that's when they'll stop listening.

10 Interesting Language Facts

Here’s a quick list of tidbits and resources about the English language (and language in general) which I’ve picked up throughout my time as a speech & language trainer in Europe and Asia. I hope you find them as interesting as I do!

1. The majority of the world’s languages are believed to stem from a common root: Indo-European. For a gorgeous illustration of the Indo-European Family Tree, click here: http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v449/n7163/fig_tab/449665a_F1.html

2. Two languages that are not related to Indo-European, but are related to one another are Hungarian and Finnish. Granted, the two languages went their separate ways around 6,000 years ago, but they are still considered to be siblings in the Finno-Ugrian family.

3. The word “set” has the most definitions out of any word in the English language.

4. Countries where English (or other Germanic languages) is spoken account for more than 40 percent of the world GDP, while comprising only about 8 percent of the world's population (as of 2006). http://www.discovery.org/a/3639

5. A Singaporean client taught me that in Chinese, the word crisis is a combination of two characters which, on their own, mean risk and opportunity. Now isn’t that an interesting outlook?

6. My Danish husband’s favorite English word to say is humongous. The hardest word is refrigerator, and the funniest is hippopotamus. I always love to see how other people view our language! The hardest word for me to say in Danish is gulerødsrugbrød (carrot rye bread).

7. UNESCO, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, states that out of the world’s 6,000 languages, 2,500 are in danger of becoming extinct or have recently disappeared. How very tragic! http://tinyurl.com/bkn7uh

8. Every human being is born with the capacity to make every sound of every language in the world perfectly. With time, we filter out the sounds we don’t need for our primary language and focus on the ones we do.

9. It should come as no surprise that English has the largest number of non-native speakers. There are actually more non-native speakers of English than native speakers in our world today. This leads to some interesting arguments about how “Standard English” should really be defined.

10. The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters). Sing that, Mary Poppins!

Do you have more interesting language points to add? List them in the comments!

Speech Training: Say WHAT? How to pronounce the word "what"

Last week a participant in my Speak up Successfully course asked me a very good question: "How do you pronounce the word, 'what'?" He was under the impression that it should be pronounced hwuht with an h in front.

As an American in Singapore I can sometimes be too quick to answer pronunciation questions by explaining how I personally pronounce things. This isn't always fair because Singaporeans have been taught British pronunciation which can be quite different.

I answered his question by saying, "No. There should not be an h sound before the w in what." Like a good student, he went home after the course and checked the online dictionaries I listed in the resource section of his workbook. The next morning there was a mail in my inbox:

"Remember, i asked you how to pronounce WHAT..

dictionary.com says: '/ʰwʌt, ʰwɒt, wʌt, wɒt; unstressed ʰwət, wət/
Show Spelled Pronunciation: [hwuht, hwot, wuht, wot; unstressed hwuht, wuht]'

hwuht means that there's a 'h' in it?"

Hmmm... This is a tricky one.

First of all, it is important to note that several pronunciations are acceptable. Depending on where you are in the world, you may hear people pronounce what with or without what looks like an h sound in front.

My original answer, that there shouldn't be an h was correct for my own variety of English, but wasn't entirely accurate for all varieties. At the same time, in order to really understand what the spelled pronunciation is calling an h sound, we need to go into slightly deeper phonetics.

The superscript h (called a diacritic in the phonetic alphabet) means pre-aspiration. Aspiration refers to your breath, so what that means is that the w sounds slightly ‘breathy’ (for lack of a better non-technical word).

When we breathe out, the closest real sound we make is the h sound which is why it is transcribed as hw in the spelled pronunciation (a slight downfall of spelled pronunciations, in my opinion). This sound is very slight in most varieties of English and I would not classify it as a pure h.

Try putting your hand up in front of your mouth while you make the p sound. You should feel an explosion of air on your hand. This is aspiration. You are not really making the sounds p-h. Rather, your breath accompanies your pronunciation of the p.

The same is happening when you make the w sound, but the breath is coming slightly before the w. If you were to look at the visual imagery of a recording of someone saying what you would be able to see slight aspiration at the beginning of the word. I believe this would also be true of the way that I say it. I cannot however agree that the word starts with an h.

Does that make any sense? What do you think? How do you say WHAT in your variety of English?

English Language: Irregardless is NOT a word! Setting the Record Straight...

The hot topic in my world this week has been the word (or should I say, non-word) irregardless.

On Tuesday I had an article that I wrote on word stress published in the Recruit section of The Straits Times newspaper. Usually these articles bring some nice publicity, but this time, the editors made some terrible changes to my original work and made most of the mistakes in their writing (which now looks like MY writing) that I always teach people to avoid! One of those changes was inserting the (non-) word irregardless. I mean really, even a spell check in Word will highlight that error!

When I changed my Facebook status to reflect my unhappiness with the vandalism of my work (especially the insertion of irregardless) I was surprised by how many messages I received from friends saying "Thanks for making that clear," "I hear people saying that all the time!" and "You should teach this stuff in America!" I knew that irregardless was a normal word in the Singapore vernacular, but wasn't aware of how wide-spread it is other places.

Irregardless in America
After a bit of research on the subject, I've actually learned (as stated in Adam Brown's Singapore English in a Nutshell) that the word irregardless is listed as a word in the American Dialect Dictionary and was recorded in western Indiana in 1912. He goes on to explain that the Merriam-Webster dictionary notes that most Americans agree that "it is not a word," but many continue to use it anyway!

So let's set the record straight. What is it about this word that gets everybody so confused?

Setting the record straight
Let's start with the base word, regard.
Regard can be used as a verb or noun, but we are going to focus on the noun form here. Dictionary.com has several definitions, but the most appropriate one for our uses now is:
#12. thought; attention; concern.

Now, look up regardless. This word is not a noun, but an adjective or adverb:
–adjective
1.having or showing no regard; heedless; unmindful (often fol. by of).
–adverb
2. without concern as to advice, warning, hardship, etc.; anyway: I must make the decision regardless.

We use the word regardless to describe an action or mindset that does not show thought, attention or concern. It's an action taken without regard. The suffix -less negates the noun, regard to show this meaning.

So what's wrong with irregardless?
In English, the prefix ir- is also used to negate the meaning of words, for example revocable and irrevocable. By adding ir- to regardless, we actually form a double negative. It's like saying, "not without regard" or in other words, "regard." Get it?

Where does irregardless come from?
The best guess is that people are confusing irrespective and regardless, which are two words with basically identical meanings. Somehow the ir- from irrespective gets thrown onto the beginning of regardless, creating the non-word.

It is not however due to any tense changes as one astute reader pointed out in his email to me:
"I hear people in conversation using this 'irregardless' word, oblivious of the fact that the past tense of 'respective' is 'irrespective.' But the past tense of 'regard' is not 'irregardless' but 'regardless'."

Although he is correct about the non-word irregardless, his reasoning is not at all correct. Only verbs have tenses and respective is not a verb, but an adjective. Regard can be used as a verb, but in that case, its past tense would not be regardless, but would be regarded. I think that the reader meant to explain that the negative form of respective is irrespective, but the negative form of regard is not irregardless, but regardless.

A solution
Seeing how confusing this regard/regardless/irregardless issue can be, why are people using the word regardless at all? It's long and gets even more complicated when we have to add the preposition of. Here's an example of how we can remove the word from our vocabulary and speak more simply.

Regardless of what you think of this word, take it out of your vocabulary.

Change to:
No matter what you think of this word, take it out of your vocabulary.


How widespread of a problem do you think this is? Do you hear people use regardless and irregardless interchangeably? Share your stories and opinions in the comments!

Speech Training: Say it Right! Article in The Straits Times Today!

If you live in Singapore, pick up a copy of today's The Straits Times and flip to the Recruit section! Here's the original version of the article they published today...

When I bring up the topic of word stress to a group of Singaporean professionals, I’m usually met with blank stares. Word stress plays a minimal role in Singapore English, but an enormous role in the intelligibility of your English when speaking with people internationally.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let’s look at a simple example.

The word calendar can be broken down into 3 syllables: cal-en-dar. Of these three syllables, one is stressed more than the others, meaning it is said louder, longer, at a higher pitch, and/or with a purer vowel sound. In this case, the stressed syllable in Standard English is the first one: CAL-en-dar.

Over time, and due to other language influences in Singapore, this word stress has shifted to the second syllable. It is very common to hear calendar pronounced as cal-EN-dar.

This pronunciation has little resemblance to the standard one that many international visitors to Singapore learned while listening to British English recordings during their English as a Foreign Language class. If people don’t seem to be responding to what you say, it could just be a simple problem of word stress.

Two-syllable nouns and adjectives

Two-syllable words surprisingly present some difficulties. These words are so short it’s amazing that a simple shift in word stress can make such a huge difference – but it does.

Most two-syllablle nouns and adjectives have stress on the first syllable. In Singapore however, this stress is often moved to the second syllable, or both syllables are given equal stress.

Some words I often hear in Singapore are collEAGUE (instead of COLLeague) and purCHASE (instead of PURchase). This pattern of word stress is so ingrained in Singaporeans, many will fight me on this point until they are blue in the face (if we don’t find a dictionary before then).

And it’s not just Singaporeans! One of my clients, a non-Singaporean and non-native English speaker, told me he had been busy writing up purCHASE orders. When I corrected his pronunciation, he resisted and said that this time I was definitely wrong. I asked him where he heard the word pronounced this way, and when he said, “From my collEAGUES!” I realized we had a larger problem on our hands!

Two-syllable verbs

As if things weren’t complicated enough, two-syllable nouns, when used as verbs, shift their stress to the second syllable.

The majority of nouns that also have a verb form (e.g.: progress, present, object, produce, record) will be stressed on the first syllable when used as a noun, and the second syllable when used as a verb. Take for example the word progress. Watch how the stress changes depending on how the word is used.

We are making great PROgress in this field. (noun)
New technologies are helping us to proGRESS in this field. (verb)

Unfortunately for us, there are many exceptions to this rule. Some words will remain the same (keeping stress on the first syllable), such as answer, picture, travel, visit and several others.

Multi-syllabic word stress

Words with several syllables can be even trickier than their short, two-syllable friends. We saw stress shifting with these words when they changed from noun to verb form. Mult-syllabic words can shift their stress based on word form as well; there just aren’t any hard and fast rules governing the process.

Take the word economy for example. This is a good one for our trying times. Make sure that when you talk about the ecoNOMic crisis, that your pronunciation isn’t in crisis! The stress should be on the third syllable, not the second. Words like PHOTograph and phoTOGraphy are similar.

Making word stress less stressful

So, how are you supposed to know how to stress a certain word? Luckily for us, online dictionaries usually have a recording you can play so you can hear the proper pronunciation.

If there isn’t a recording, or you’re looking up your word in a real dictionary, there will be a short vertical line just before the syllable that takes the stress.

If you had never heard about word stress before this article, please don’t get too stressed out! Think of word stress as a tool in your arsenal against misunderstanding. If someone is having trouble understanding you, pay special attention to how you are stressing your words. Sometimes it isn’t what you say, but how you say it that matters!

English Foul-ups and Brush-ups on 93.8LIVE's "The Living Room"

Yesterday I had a wonderful time on air with Stanley Leong and Pamela Ho of 938LIVE's "The Living Room" radio program. We talked about the English used in Singapore and some of the crazy, funny quirks that come out when Singaporeans converse with visitors here.

Here's the 38 minute recording of the show. I hope you enjoy it. Leave your comments and questions here on the blog. I'd love to hear what you think!

http://www.box.net/shared/54z00b0r1t

Top 10 Language Tips for 2009

Your language permeates every aspect of who you are. You are judged by what you say and how you present yourself. Make 2009 the year that you commit to the way you speak. Fine-tune the little things that make a big difference with these Top 10 Language Tips for 2009!

1. Speak positively
Your language influences your thoughts just as much as your thoughts influence your language. When you set your resolutions for the new year did you list, “Stop smoking,” or “Breathe freely?” Make sure that you’re sending yourself positive images with the language you use.

2. Practice tongue twisters
If you’re concerned about the way you speak or the way you pronounce certain sounds, tongue twisters are a fun and easy way to begin making progress in the right direction. A simple web search will give you lots of ideas. Practice saying the tongue twisters in front of a mirror so you can see how your mouth changes to make different sounds.

3. Set language goals
Whether you want to speak more clearly, correctly or confidently, set goals for yourself. For example, if you want to improve your vocabulary, set a goal to learn 10 new words per week (or whatever number you think is fair).

4. Read... a lot
The best way to improve your language skills and become a better speaker and writer is to read... a lot. Choose magazines, books, newspapers and online resources that not only interest you, but also have good English language content. If you’re reading the tabloids, you’re probably not getting the best English input possible, which leads me to number 5:

5. Listen to and observe good language models
Whether you’re choosing something to read, or choosing who and what you listen to, the most important thing is that the people you emulate need to speak English very well! Remember, practice doesn’t make perfect – perfect practice does!

6. Play word games
Word games are a great way to keep your mind active, build new vocabulary and increase creativity. Solve a crossword puzzle, do a word search or choose one of the hundreds of different games that you can find on the internet. Take a breather from your work and work out your mind in a different way.

7. Be aware of your body language
Don’t forget the non-verbal messages you send! Many people think of language and communication as what they say, but what you do is even more important. To show polite interest in what someone is saying sit up straight, lean slightly towards the listener and hold comfortable eye contact.

8. Speak considerately
Remember all the lessons your mother taught you. Say, “Please,” and, “Thank you.” Slow down in large crowds and say, “Excuse me,” when you bump into people. These may seem like little, unimportant things, but they say a lot about the type of person you are.

9. Proof-read your work – every time!
Do not write one letter, send one email, or submit one report without checking over your work. Look out for things like your use of commas and apostrophes, typos and spelling errors. Nobody gets everything right the first try. Assume there are errors and find them!

10. Don’t use a long word where a short one will do
This famous rule is one too many of us forget. Remember that communication is not a vocabulary contest. Successful communication depends on people understanding your meaning. Use common words and phrases instead of over-inflated prose.

English Language: Grammar Myths

"Never split an infinitive!"
"Never end a sentence with a preposition!"
"Never start a sentence with a conjunction!"

Grammar is scary! So many rules, and so few people who really understand them. Don't feel bad if you feel like you can't get to grips with English grammar. I teach the stuff, and I still look to my grammar reference on a regular basis. Who has room in their head for so many rules - especially when they're constantly changing!

Many grammar rules, like the commands above, are generally accepted to be outdated. Winston Churchill's famous quote,"This is the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put!" argues the point for terminal prepositions rather well. And if I were to stop starting sentences with conjunctions, it would be very hard to write blog posts in a nice conversational style.

All of this said, there are still some grammar rules which are important to know and practice. Here in Singapore, some rules have been dissected and then overgeneralized, resulting in several English grammar myths. Let's expose two of these myths today and set the record straight.

Myth #1: To make a singular noun plural, just add 's'
A day does not pass in Singapore where I don't hear informations, paperworks, advices, staffs, baggages and/or fruits.

Myth buster: There are two kinds of nouns that do not change in the plural: collective nouns and uncountable nouns.

Collective nouns are nouns that refer to a group of people: staff, management, crew, audience, etc.
You cannot say, "My staffs are very hardworking."
A correct option would be, "The members of my staff are hardworking."

Uncountable nouns are exactly what their name implies - nouns that can't be counted. If you can't count something, you can't make it plural and therefore, can't add an 's.' Make sense? Some good examples are paperwork, information, and advice. They are things like abstract ideas (progress), commodities (oil) and substances (water). So how do we show that these words are plural? We need to add determiners - little words or phrases that give meaning to the number of nouns we are talking about. So, information becomes a lot of information, tons of information or just a piece of information.

Myth #2: Verbs never take 's'
Although here in Singapore everyone likes to add the letter S to nouns, very few people like adding S to verbs. This is a real problem, especially in the third person singular, which, in normal English, means when we talk about he, she or it. I am convinced that this mistake happens not because Singaporeans don't know the rule, but because in conversation it is pretty normal to drop "useless" word endings like 't,' 'd,' and unfortunately, the beloved 's.' That's why we hear people say things like, "He take the bus to work," "She like him," "It make me happy."

Myth buster: Whenever we talk about he, she or it, we absolutely must, without exception, add an 's' to the verb. It will always be, "He takes the bus to work," "She likes him," and "It makes me happy."

What other myths can you think of? Are there any grammar points that get you confused? Leave your comments and I'll try to address them in future posts.

If you would rather have me walk you through these points personally, make sure to register for my new workshop, "Get to Grips with Grammar." I know you don't believe me, but I really do make grammar fun! Come join us!

Speech Training: Speak Clearly Revisited

I found an interesting short article today on the Better Hearing Institute's website that emphasized the importance of speaking clearly when speaking to hearing-impaired individuals, especially if they are lip reading. Their main points should sound familiar if you've been following this blog:

a. slow down
b. speak up (without yelling)
c. articulate (without over-articulating)
d. use pauses to emphasise important chunks of information

The article caught my attention because while I was traveling for Christmas and New Year's I had the joy of conversing with two stubborn individuals who can't hear a thing, but refuse to get hearing aids. Their common excuse is that everyone mumbles, and sometimes they're right about that. One of them commented on how easy I am to understand (while I was speaking a foreign language, no less).

What if we spoke to everyone as if they were reading our lips? Our clarity would improve tremendously!

Here's a little test I did on myself. Turn on your TV and flip to a news channel. Mute the TV. Without any training in lip reading at all, I could pick out words the anchorwoman was saying. Put together with visual images, I could get a good idea of what was going on. Now turn to a reality TV program (they aren't hard to find these days). I don't know about you, but it was a lot harder for me to read their lips!

This isn't to say we should all start speaking like news readers, but a small step in that direction wouldn't hurt! At least our hearing-impaired relatives will thank us!

English Language: How Social Media Can Actually Help Your Writing

How many social media sites do you actively participate in? Just about everyone I know is on Facebook. And Twitter is becoming more and more popular as well. These types of sites are changing the way we communicate with others, as well as how we write and speak.

The status update is an interesting element of these communications. Assuming you don't fall victim to crazy abbreviations like "C U L8er," writing status updates can actually be a great exercise in creative and concise communication. You can't ramble on and on about the latest film you saw. Instead you have to give a quick and concise review in 140 characters or less. That's not easy.

A friend of mine recently wrote on his status update: "Still thinking about The Last King of Scotland, which was on TV last night. Great film!" Although "great film" might be a bit broad, the fact that he was still thinking about the film showed that it had effected him in some way. I was suddenly intrigued and wondered what the film was like. Was is sad? Disturbing? Really exciting? Without saying anything specific about the movie, he was still able to communicate his reaction to the movie in an interesting way.

Another friend wrote today that she "loves her new bamboo sheets and wishes she could have spent more time in them last night." She could have just written, "I'm tired today and want to go back to bed." But she found an interesting way of expressing that thought.

When you write status updates they force you to use a concise vocabulary and really say what you mean. You don't have room for long explanations, so words need to be used appropriately. When your space is limited, you also need to be creative in how you approach what you want to say.

Think what our world would be like if we approached all forms of communication in this way! Sometimes we could use a bit more simplicity in our lives!

PS. If you'd like to follow this blog in short form, you can follow this site's feed on twitter: www.twitter.com/speakingtips

English Language: Positive Language for a Positive Year

As we begin 2009, I'm feeling surprisingly optimistic. I normally feel optimistic when a new year dawns, but the end of 2008 seems to have been cloaked in so much negativity that I wasn't sure if I would be able to rise above it.

The messages we read do affect our emotions, moods and general dispositions. I don't know about you, but when I read something negative it seems to breed more negativity inside of me. This isn't to say we should stop watching the news or reading the paper, but we need to re-program our thoughts and change the way we speak to ourselves. Our own internal voices are the most important of all.

I am in no way an expert in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and would never claim to be. As I've been thinking about the new year and changes I would like to make in it, I remembered one concept in NLP from a short overview I read months ago. It talked about positive and negative language.

The argument is that when we speak in the negative, for example, "I don't want to be late anymore," our minds create a picture of us being late and then we attempt to negate that picture. Unfortunately, the picture is already ingrained in our minds and we continue being late because that's the main message we've been sending ourselves.

What if we instead said, "I am going to be on time." What's the first picture that comes to your mind? Relaxing in the waiting room before your appointment with 10 minutes to spare? Arriving at the office before anyone else and having a nice quiet cup of coffee before the day begins? Do you see the difference in this imagery?

It was just this morning that I recognized how I've been changing the way I speak to my daughter - she's only 6 months old, but you can never start too early, right? Instead of saying, "Don't drop your toy!" I use the positive, "Hold onto your toy!" At this point, who knows what sense either sentence makes to her, but it's great practice for me!

Now that I've started using positive messages, it's getting easier for me to translate negatives to positives and use more positive language in my daily life.

When you write your list of resolutions this year (something I highly recommend, by the way) make sure that you're using positive language that reinforces what you do want in life instead of what you don't want. Write "Breathe fresh air freely and easily," instead of "Stop smoking," for example. Then hang your list somewhere you can see it each day. When you read it, think about the images that enter you mind, and notice the emotions you feel.

Positive language can make a difference for you in this new year. So get started thinking positively and see what happens! There's nothing to lose but negativity!

Speech Training: How Important is Learning Phonetics?

People can be surprised that in a course on pronunciation and speech training I rarely, if ever, refer to the phonetic alphabet. This is because I believe the phonetic alphabet has little relevance in improving pronunciation today.

The main reason for learning the phonetic alphabet is so that you can look up words in the dictionary and know their pronunciation by reading the phonetic script. But today, pronouncing dictionaries come with CDs with every pronunciation recorded and dictionaries online also have pronunciations you can listen to, usually with both American and British pronunciations.

If you are having trouble listening to the pronunciation of a word and are really concerned about it, you can always go back to the phonetic alphabet key at the beginning of the dictionary and figure it out. There's no reason to hog space in your head with the phonetic alphabet chart!

It is much more important (and much more fun) to learn pronunciation through fine tuning your listening and production skills. Although it isn't important for you to learn the phonetic alphabet, your trainer should know it like the back of his/her hand so she can make those sounds come to life and let you hear and understand the different nuances of sound. Make sure he/she has a background in either speech and language training or linguistics.

If you live in Singapore and are serious about changing your pronunciation and speaking more clearly, be sure to check out my newest program, the Speak Clearly 8-week Intensive. You can get more information and register here.

Communication Etiquette: Invite Yourself to Meetings

Everyone knows that business networking is one of the most important ways to build one's business, stand out from the crowd and maintain beneficial professional relationships.

When you are looking to branch out and meet new people, you might consider joining new groups or, at least, attending a meeting or two. But what if the meetings are for members only or are "by invitation."

Don't let this deter you! Groups are almost always looking for new members. If you don't know someone in the group who can "invite" you, invite yourself! Now that doesn't mean showing up on the day unannounced. Rather, it means that you should do your homework, find the contact information for the President or Membership Chair of the group and send them an email.

No group wants a networking leech - one of those people who suck everything they can from a group (mostly names, phone numbers and email addresses) in order to advance their own businesses. If you have something to offer and aren't just trying to blatantly serve your own interests, most groups will welcome you with open arms.

If you really want to be invited to a meeting, include these things in your email to the group's leadership:
1. Your name and profession
2. How you heard about the group
3. Your intentions when visiting the group
4. A polite request to attend the group's next function
5. An example of how the group could benefit from meeting you

Here's an example of how this email could be put together:

Dear John
(1) My name is Heather Hansen and I am a dog trainer and animal lover. (2) I came across the "Dog's are Great" website today and can see that you're President of the local chapter. (3) I am really interested in meeting other like-minded dog lovers, and the events your group organizes look really exciting. (4) I would love to attend one of your meetings. Could I possibly join you next week at your November get-together? (5) I would love to meet all of you and would also be happy to share my dog training experience with your members if they have any questions.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best
Heather

Now who could say 'no' to such a considerate request? Not only have you been up-front about who you are and why you are interested in attending their group, you have also offered to help serve them - and you're not even a member yet!

Don't be afraid to invite yourself to meetings in this way. The worst thing that could happen is that they say 'no.' And maybe that's not the type of group you'd like to socialize with anyway!

Public Speaking: Using Notes Effectively - Top 7 Tips

Having seen quite a number of speeches, I've seen people use all different kinds of methods for organizing their notes. Some people write the whole speech out on paper and read it, some have key points on pages that they flip through. Some people have note cards, some print out their PowerPoint slides.

No matter the method, there is one thing all these people have in common: they usually don't need their notes. When it comes down to it, notes usually serve as nothing more than a distraction for both the audience and the speaker.

So before I begin talking about how to use notes effectively, I want to make it clear that not having any notes is always the best option. I can however understand if having notes in front of you makes you feel more confident. So how can you use your notes in a way that makes them less of a distraction? Here are seven easy tips:

1. Never talk about your notes
If you say things like: "Let me see here...," "I know I wrote the next part down somewhere," or "Good thing I brought my notes along!" everyone in the audience is suddenly focused on your notes instead of you and your message.

2. Never apologize for referencing your notes
If you forget what comes next, calmly pause, check your notes and continue. There's no need for an apology. Like point #1, you just end up taking attention away from you. Having pauses in your speech is a good thing. It gives us time to think about what you just said. Pretend the pause is planned and use that time to regain your footing.

3. Don't read from your notes
There is nothing worse than the speaker who writes the entire speech and then stands up and reads it. That is not a speech, and there is no faster way to lose credibility with your audience.

4. Put your notes on the fewest number of pages possible
Since people generally don't reference their notes, what normally happens if they do suddenly need them is that they end up paging through everything searching for their place. This takes time and is very distracting to the audience. It also rattles the speaker as he panics searching for the next topic.

5. Write largely
Please don't write your notes your small that you need to pick them up and put them in front of your face to read them. You should write your notes large enough that you can read them easily from a distance - at least if they are sitting on the table next to you.

6. Organize your points clearly
Write short memory joggers that you can read at a glance, not long convoluted sentences. Highlight your main points so it's easy to find your place. Create a system that is logical to you and that you can remember in the heat of the moment.

7. Keep your cool
No matter what, don't panic. If you suddenly blank, take a moment to think about what comes next while your audience soaks up the last thing you said. If you stay calm you will most likely think of the next point without needing your notes. If you panic, you'll draw a blank and make the situation harder on yourself.

How do you make your notes work for you? Leave your tips here for others to learn from!

English Language: Take, Bring, Send, Follow & Fetch

Pop Quiz, Singapore:

Fill in the blank:

I'm ___________ my friend to the airport this afternoon.

a) taking
b) bringing
c) sending
d) following
e) all of the above


How many of you answered 'e?' Be honest! Here in Singapore all of these words are used almost interchangeably. In Standard English the only correct answer is "a) taking."

Here's the difference between these words:
Taking = movement away from you. Therefore, you can say, "I'm taking my friend to the airport, the store, home (to his/her house, not yours)"

Bringing = movement towards you. You can bring your friend home (to your home) from the airport. You can ask your friends to bring (you) a bottle of wine for dinner too.

Sending = movement away from you and you do not go with the thing you're sending. Just like when you send a letter, you don't jump in the mailbox with it, the same is true if you send your friends to the airport - you don't go with them. You send your friends somewhere when you for example, call a taxi for them and the taxi comes and picks them up and you stay home.

Following = doing the same thing as someone else, just after them. So in our airport example, your friend is driving to the airport in his car and you are following him in your car. When he changes lanes, you change lanes, when he turns, you turn - all the way to the airport.

Another word I like to throw into this mix is "fetch." I often hear people say they are going to "fetch" their friend at the airport. Although this may be correct in the sense that it follows the definition "to begin in one place, travel to another, get something and travel back to the starting place," in practice we usually only use the word "fetch" when referring to a game dogs play. We usually don't "fetch" our kids at school, "fetch" our partners at work, or "fetch" our friends. A better phrase to use instead is "pick up."

So, when our 5 guests arrived in Singapore last week, I took my husband with me to the airport to pick them up. Since there were too many people to fit in one car, some of us got in a taxi and followed my husband home. One of their bags was lost so the airport staff had it sent to us the next day. It was a good thing it arrived because it was filled with all the presents they brought for our daughter.

Speech Training: The Terrible 'TH'

Many of us grew up with parents that told us it's rude to stick our tongues out at people. I'm here to tell you that these words of wisdom did not apply to when you need make to make the sound /th/.

So many people seem to be scared to open their mouths when they speak or let anything other than a sliver of teeth show when they mumble through their words. Watch yourself in the mirror. When you make the sound /th/ you should be able to see the tip of your tongue pointing out between your teeth. If you can't, you are most likely making a /d/ or /t/ sound which is incorrect according to the most common pronunciation guides.

Here are a few sentences you can work on to practice the /th/ sound:

I'm thinking of 3,333 things
Tim the thin twin tinsmith
Lesser leather never weathered, wetter weather better
Thank the other three brothers on their father's mother's brother's side

Communication Etiquette: Why's it important?

When I tell people that one of the main topics I write about on my blog is communication etiquette, I'm often asked, "Why's that important?" And really, that's a valid question. In a world where we spend less and less time conversing with each other face-to-face and more and more time in front of our computers instant messaging and writing status updates, it's easy to forget the importance of communication etiquette. People tend to forget that even when we IM there is a certain protocol in place as to how it's done and what is said.

So why is protocol and etiquette important? This is how we cement our relationships. People who know the ins and outs of how to communicate appropriately and successfully generally have better relationships, and when you have a multitude of solid relationships, it's a lot easier to get things done.

When you surround yourself with people you like and like to do business with, things just run more smoothly. You go out of your way to help others because you want to help your friends and not because your doing a colleague a favor. You can make things happen faster because you know exactly who to call when you need help and know that they are also ready and willing to help you when you need it.

What if you don't know someone who can print your sales folders overnight for a good price? Chances are you have a friend in your network who knows someone. By leveraging your relationship, you might just be able to make a successful deal.

This is what networking and building relationships is all about. But if you blow it from the start by making an awful first impression, not following up with the person or saying something inappropriate, you could lose the relationship before you've even started building it.

Relationships are our lifeblood not only socially, but also professionally. Make sure that you are up to speed on the rules of etiquette that govern how you interact with others - especially how you communicate!

Speech Training: Does Your Accent Matter?

I am a strong supporter of the idea that your accent doesn't matter; it's the clarity of your speech and your message that's important. But looking at the news lately, it seems that I am in the minority.

Every headline has something to do with vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin's accent. Is it real? Is it fake? Does it sound educated or uneducated? Where does it come from? What will it mean for the election?

All I have to say is that if an accent is enough to tip the election scales (either way), America is in even more trouble than we thought.

It does bring up the important issue though that an accent, if too heavy or different from the norm, can be a distraction - so much so that no one listens to the message. This in itself is motivation to work on one's diction and pronunciation.

Many people have cut Palin down for lax pronunciation. For example, she drops her 'g' in words like 'going' so they sound more like 'goin.' Plenty of Americans speak this way on a daily basis. The problem here is that Americans don't expect to hear this informal speaking style in a formal debate or televised interview.

It's not so much that the accent is 'wrong' but that, according to a large number of people, it is inappropriate for the situation. This then turns our discussion into more of a social debate than a linguistic one.

Everything comes down to knowing your audience. Presidential and vice presidential candidates have scores of advisers who not only tell them what to say, but also how to say it. Palin was chosen because the Republican camp felt that she would appeal most to the American audience. After the backlash against her, they may begin to feel otherwise.

Here are a selection of articles that have hit the press recently:

Everything You Heard Is Wrong - New York Times
Pinker on Palin's "nucular" - Language Log
Palin's accent takes center stage - Politico
What Kind of Accent Does Sarah Palin Have? - Slate
Sarah Palin's accent explained - The Swamp
MoJo Audio: Linguist Robin Lakoff Analyzes Sarah Palin's Accent - Mother Jones (podcast)

What are your views? Let me know by leaving your comments here!

Communication Etiquette: Eye Contact

I met someone for the first time the other day and when I shook her hand she didn't look me in the eyes. It's amazing what a difference such a seemingly minor non-verbal signal makes.

If you don't look someone in the eyes when you meet them, there are a number of assumptions the person could make:

1. You're hiding something
2. You're very insecure
3. You feel intimidated
4. You're not really paying attention
5. You're just rude

None of these assumptions are positive, and hopefully none of them are true. In my situation, I could tell by the rest of the person's body language that she was just a bit insecure. But I could easily see how other people could read her signals as being rude.

The worst part is that I don't even think she realized the message she was sending. It's very possible that she has had a hard time connecting with others and not known why. Think of how many relationships have started off on the wrong foot because of this small mistake!

When you meet someone for the first time, eye contact is just as important, if not more important than a firm handshake. Make sure you make the best possible first impression and look your new acquaintance directly in the eyes.

Public Speaking: The Secret

I am going to let you in on a little secret. Actually, it's a really big secret. It's the secret that every single person who ever has to do a presentation wants to know:

How can I deliver a powerful, persuasive and entertaining presentation that makes people stop and listen?

The answer?

BE YOURSELF.

Really.

That's it.

Honestly.

I'm not lying.

I believe, along with every other public speaker on the planet, that the best speakers are the ones who can be themselves on stage. They don't put on a show. They don't use big words to impress their audiences. They don't do what they think they should do. They just do what comes to them - naturally.

This authenticity is what draws us to a speaker and makes us sit up and listen. So what's so hard about being yourself? There could be a number of issues holding you back, and until you take care of each of these, you'll never reach your true potential as a speaker.

1. You don't know who you are
This point is actually a lot more complicated than how it looks on paper. It's one of life's big questions and one which all of us are always working to answer: Who am I? The closer you are to answering this question for this point in your life, the better a speaker you will be. If you aren't exactly sure who you are or what you stand for, it will be hard to open yourself up to an audience and even harder for your audience to trust you and your message.

2. You are trying to be a "speaker"
You've taken so many courses and studied so many "master speakers" that you think that's the one and only way you should speak. All I can say is a big, huge, fat, "WRONG!" Didn't you ever listen to your mother when she asked that rhetorical question about whether you'd jump off a bridge... ? Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean it's right. The top speakers have found a style that works for them, now you need to find a style that works for you. This is incredibly easy if you just BE YOURSELF.

3. Being yourself makes you feel too vulnerable
It's scary standing in front of a group of people and sharing what's on your mind. If you put up a front and pretend to be someone you aren't it's a lot easier to accept failure. If people didn't like the talk you don't have to take it personally because really, you weren't personally involved. You can blame it on your "style" instead of accepting that maybe someone in the audience didn't like you. I'll let you in on another secret: not everyone is going to like you. That's just a fact. The sooner you accept this and let it go, the better.

So how can you become more authentic? You should be able to speak on stage the same way you speak to your closest friends and colleagues. There is nothing wrong with being conversational, asking for your audience's opinion or showing that you have a sense of humor. You need to let go of what you think should be said or done and do what feels right for you. Don't compare yourself to others. You've been asked to speak because someone felt that you had something important to say. They asked you to speak because they like YOU, not you in a speaker's costume.

Take a deep breath, relax, put on a smile and share your passion with the world. That's what makes public speaking fun. Enjoy it!